How Trure Are These.........
#1
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out  wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.  We haven't met yet!

I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!

I don't need anger management.   I need people  to stop pissing me off!

Old age is coming at a really bad time!

When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ... now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!

The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

Lord grant me  the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the  things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap.

I don't have grey hair.  I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.

My people skills are just fine.  It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.

The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".

I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week...

When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people".

I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my wife took it!

Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud? Thumbup
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#2
Now by God that's funny. Maybe that's because most of it's true? SCo_hmmthink JTS 71 Mach1
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#3
Yeah, those are good...quite a few in there I haven't seen before. Biggrin
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#4
Best laugh I've had in a while........ the truth can be very funny.Clap_
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