Retirement in the South
#1
Subject: Retiring to the South, Pick your state of choice.

Florida
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Mustang convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this!” and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Mustang. He looked at his watch, then said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding – a reason I’ve never before heard – I’ll let you go...”
The old gentleman paused then said, “Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”
“Have a good day, Sir,” replied the trooper.

Georgia
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, “Y’all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?” The secretary thought a moment and then replied, “Everthang but my earrings.”

Louisiana
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying, “When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana .
”When asked why, he replied, “I’d rather be in Louisiana ‘cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world.”

Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, “Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!”
Bubba replied, “Did y’all see who it was?”
The young man answered, “I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number.”

North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.The man replied, “I got a flat tahr.”
The passerby asked, “But what’s with the flowers?”
The man responded, “When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither .”

Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, “Got any ID?”
The driver replied, “Bout whut?”

Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, “Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don’t you see that sign right over your head.”
“Yep,” he replied. “That’s why I’m dumpin’ it here, ‘cause it says: ‘Fine For Dumping Garbage.’”


Y’all kin say whut y’all want ‘bout the South, but y’all never heard o’ nobody retirin’ an’ movin’ North

Hope y'all enjoy it! Wink
Reply
#2
And I thought you were from Australia? 578254 JTS 71 Mach1
Reply
#3
We have Bogans that do all the same stuff Rednecks do.

Just ours have a different accent and fewer guns......
Reply


Possibly Related Threads…
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  How to Buy a Buick in the South Rare Pony 1 8,648 07-13-2011, 09:27 AM
Last Post: Mach 1 Club

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
[-]
Latest Threads
What's One More Iron In The Fire!
Last Post: fram lee666
03-18-2024 06:21 PM
» Replies: 125
» Views: 238018
"Jacobra"
Last Post: JTS71 Mach1
06-30-2023 11:13 PM
» Replies: 86
» Views: 150589
My old Queensland Ambulance
Last Post: JTS71 Mach1
06-30-2023 11:08 PM
» Replies: 5
» Views: 1677
New member from San Jose, CA
Last Post: JTS71 Mach1
05-09-2023 08:39 AM
» Replies: 12
» Views: 3953
Saving Seatbelts
Last Post: Jim
02-19-2023 10:23 PM
» Replies: 2
» Views: 9108
Sourcing new wheels
Last Post: JTS71 Mach1
01-25-2023 02:34 PM
» Replies: 1
» Views: 1992
Shaker Air Filter
Last Post: JTS71 Mach1
01-08-2023 02:24 AM
» Replies: 3
» Views: 1464
1971 Mach 1 parting out interior parts -...
Last Post: ylwhrse
12-22-2022 01:38 PM
» Replies: 0
» Views: 640
Painting
Last Post: Rare Pony
12-14-2022 06:24 PM
» Replies: 2
» Views: 1964
WELCOME ALL NEW MEMBERS INTRODUCE YOURSE...
Last Post: JTS71 Mach1
08-31-2022 01:36 PM
» Replies: 82
» Views: 156971
1970 mach 1 matching numbers
Last Post: Kstweeter
08-31-2022 10:31 AM
» Replies: 1
» Views: 1086
Brake booster/servo hose length
Last Post: JTS71 Mach1
08-23-2022 09:40 AM
» Replies: 7
» Views: 2990
New Member
Last Post: JTS71 Mach1
08-20-2022 11:18 AM
» Replies: 2
» Views: 1497
smooth window operation on 70 Mach
Last Post: CUSTOMMISER
08-15-2022 12:10 PM
» Replies: 2
» Views: 1468
Blinkers on solid
Last Post: busted21
08-09-2022 03:58 AM
» Replies: 14
» Views: 8681
Blinkers on solid when lights on.
Last Post: JTS71 Mach1
08-08-2022 12:06 PM
» Replies: 1
» Views: 1718
351 cj running hot
Last Post: busted21
08-08-2022 12:13 AM
» Replies: 5
» Views: 3402
Major Winter projects
Last Post: JTS71 Mach1
07-09-2022 05:12 AM
» Replies: 49
» Views: 21014
Happy Fathers Day!!!
Last Post: JTS71 Mach1
06-20-2022 02:34 AM
» Replies: 0
» Views: 1681
1969 Raven Black 390 Looking For
Last Post: mason1958
06-11-2022 09:48 AM
» Replies: 10
» Views: 15074

>